4 buone ragioni per fare la lista degli amanti che hai avuto

Lindsay Lohan (31 anni) avrebbe avuto, sino ad ora, 36 amanti. Che non è male: mediamente fa più di uno all’anno. Insomma la ragazza si sa divertire. La vorremmo come condomina onoraria.

Già la immaginiamo mentre stila la lista dei suoi amanti: “il primo è stato Pino… lui merita tre stelline… , poi c’è stato Gino.. a lui solo due… ” Mi chiedo se quello che non ha avuto nemmeno una stellina possa sentirsi male al pensiero.

Ci sono ottimi motivi per stilare una lista delle / degli amanti che hai avuto:

1# – Diventerai vecchio/a:  stenterai a ricordarti cosa hai fatto la mattina, figurati quella ciulata di quarant’anni prima. La lista ti aiuterà a ricordare quei bei tempi in cui andavi in camporella.

2# – Se non sei ancora vecchio potrai ricordare cose che con tua moglie / tuo marito non fai più da tempo: acrobazie aeree, posizione del fenicottero, robe che anche le contorsioniste non riuscivano a fare, ma tu si. Ad esempio, quella al numero 20, settembre 2012: parcheggio affollato di gente, acrobazie sul sedile posteriore. Volete che la memoria vi tolga questi piaceri mentre andrete a prendere il bambino a scuola?

3# -Se sei uomo: fai attenzione, lei fa la santarellina, ma una ricerca del 2014 dice che almeno un terzo delle donne (il 38%), questa lista l’ha fatta e la tiene gelosamente nascosta in un cassetto, pronta a sfoderarla in occasione di addii al nubilato, compleanni o uscite tra donne. Vuoi lasciare solo a lei il piacere di darti una stellina soltanto?

4# – Se sei donna: fai attenzione, lui va in giro a vantarsi con gli amici di tutte quelle che si è fatto negli anni (e che magari si fa ancora). E’ una cosa maschile, un po’ come pisciare in piedi senza alzare la tavoletta. Lo fa di default, perché se non ne ha almeno 5 o 6 nella lista non si sente uomo. Quando  saprai che lo fa (perché lo saprai…) avere quella lista nel cassetto e farla, involontariamente, trovare ai suoi amici, sarà la dolce vendetta che avevi sempre sognato.

Per non preoccuparvi vi facciamo sapere che la scienza dice (dice…) che dopo i 10 amanti, siete a posto, avete già un buon numero di esperienze.

Qui sotto trovate invece i messaggi più belli inviati dai nostri condomini questa mattina.

Paolo & Omino

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